Same guy,different name

I want to first clarify that anything that I write about is something that has weighed heavy on my heart.I then pray about it and God always confirms to me that I need to write about that particular issue or concern. With that being said,have you ever been around that "certain" guy who tells you "you're beautiful"and he makes you feel so special? But ....... he also has a way of making you feel bad about the person you are? We've all experienced unhealthy relationships but many of us jump from one guy to the next and it's the "same guy, DIFFERENT name".  What I mean is you may have gotten into a new relationship with someone else but this guy possesses the same qualities as the last guy,therefore you are with the "same" type of guy. We tend to get drawn to what is familiar to us. For many of us,it's all we know. But can I encourage you to self reflect on this? In some of my previous topics I've discussed, I have said that we need to first be honest with ourselves. Don't confuse this with being critical of ourselves. If you're being critical of yourself you walk away feeling defeated and unworthy. When you're honest with yourself and you do some self reflecting, you walk away feeling accomplished and valued AND you've learned a lesson from your situation. So have the courage to sit alone and self reflect. In that time ask God to show you truth and wisdom and guidance. Give your burdens to God. It's too heavy for us to carry anyway.

Ask hard questions such as "What drew me to that type of person?" Usually we tend to attract what we are; meaning wherever you are in your life you tend to attract someone that's similar to you. What happens though is that someone usually "outgrows" the other person. If we are hurting emotionally we usually gravitate towards someone in that same position emotionally.The important thing is that BOTH people in the relationship are changing and growing. If you are the only one growing and healing emotionally then it's going to be difficult to stay connected to that other person who is "emotionally stuck".

YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. The sooner you come to realize how true this is the better off you will be. We can inspire and encourage others but we cannot change anyone but ourselves. I've experienced many,many unhealthy relationships in my life and I have had to ask those tough questions. God showed me so much within myself and I realized I just needed to trust God in who He had picked out for me. This process was difficult because I wanted to immediately go back to what was familiar to me,what was comfortable and that was a very emotionally unhealthy and unstable person. God showed me different. When I did reconnect with Aaron,my husband now we both had many emotional wounds to work through. But we BOTH had the desire to make changes and we depended on God for that. Many months of counseling with our Pastor took place and the wounds became scars. The tears of sadness became tears of joy but those tears of joy happened because of our relationship with God.We both began working towards our spiritual relationship and healing was taking place.

Sometimes we don't find that "right" person right away. Focus on God and becoming the "right" one for that future companion. God wants to be the center of your life.I can promise you that if you make HIM the center of your life and you begin to live for Him by remaining in obedience to His truth ( the bible) you will experience the greatest love which is Gods love. He has so many blessings waiting to be released upon your life but so many times we want to do things our own way and not His. We end up delaying His blessings.

I want to encourage you right now that if you're reading this and you find yourself feeling unworthy, unloved,not good enough and facing struggles; that God LOVES YOU just as you are. Of course He wants you to heal,grow and blossom but He still loves YOU EXACTLY AS YOU ARE. Realize right in this moment that YOU ARE ENOUGH! So many times we depend on a "man" to make us feel valued and beautiful.That expectation from an IMPERFECT human being is just not realistic. Instead look to God who is PERFECT and gives value to who you are.

Psalm 139:13-16New International Version (NIV)

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.